Saturday, January 16, 2010

Ignorance Is Bliss

Kind of depressed right now.  I have "The Incredibles"on the TV.  I've never watched it till the end.  The last time I remember seeing it I was in the hospital recovering from a myomectomy.  In two weeks that will be exactly two years ago.  I had so much hope at that point.  I thought that there was no way the IVFs wouldn't work after the fibroid was removed.  I guess I was wrong.

I remember exactly where I was when it all came crashing down.  It was right after my first IVF.  I was standing in a kitchen gadget store when I received the call on my cell phone that my pregnancy test was negative.  I quickly left the store and started to cry.  Even my husband was in shock.  We transfered three embryos.  I told DH that it didn't work and he said, "None of them?"  Little did I know of the pain the next year would bring.

I've been meaning to make an OBGYN appointment soon.  I've put anything involving getting probed "down there" off.  Sometimes it's just too painful to deal with.  Will I have more fibroids? Will my FSH be through the roof?  Ignorance is bliss.  At least for a little while anyway.


  1. Hello. My first time visiting and I get the fear of the FSH test. I found out in July 2007 that I was infertile in a way that I knew right away that there was <2% chance that I could have a baby of my own without a donor egg; being diabetic my chances of getting a donor egg (and having insurance cover it) were even less. I opted to have my FSH levels tested right away and knew within a week that my levels were through the roof.

    For me I had to know ~ each of us take a different path ~ you will make the appointment when you are ready. Take care.

  2. I'm in the middle of ignorance. Help! I feel so alone right now. Scared one minute, excited the next. Look at the bright side-- your insurance pays for certain procedures. We've had to borrow to do everything. Although I'm an attorney, I was a government employee for 8 years. Not much in savings. Somehow, things will work out.....for both of us. :)

  3. I'm so sorry for your's so hard and unfair. I don't know what your FSH has been, but FSH is just one number, one factor...women have gotten pregnant with an FSH of 100. Check out:
    That's where I've been going lately when I get depressed. Information is power...Going to the doctor is better than not going to the doctor - find out everything you can, especially about all of your hormone levels, and then try to find someone who will help you. As you know from my blog, I think I've found that someone for me - I'll post everything I can about any info I get from him, and if you want to know which cities he works out of, e-mail me:
    Thinking of you and hoping things look better soon.

  4. I remember being in limbo, not knowing if or when to trust my body. Ignorance is bliss but just for so long. As Mad Hatter says, Information is power and the more you know and experience, the easier it will be. Good luck at your next appointment!