This is a day when all should be wonderful. Then why do I feel so blue? Let me count the ways...
1. I'm not pregnant.
2. My chances of getting pregnant are slipping away.
3. I'm feeling very alone.
4. My mom has been sick for months.
5. I'm going to be forced to sit at my SIL's house tomorrow and make nice nice with their 4yr. old and 6mo. old.
6. My husband has been very short with me because he doesn't understand why I'm blue.
7. I recently ovulated and we didn't have sex.
8. Finances are getting a little tight.
9. I have no one to talk to about this kind of thing.
Thank you for listening.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So I was home sick yesterday and what comes across the TV, Bethenny Frankel from The Real Housewives of NYC is pregnant. I can't believe it. She's 39. I can't believe it. Did she even try?? How do these people get so lucky? I don't even think she's been dating the guy for a year yet. Not fair Not fair Not fair! Then I just read that Padma from Top Chef is also expecting her first at age 39! Come on! How does this affect me directly you ask? I was one of the many suckers that believed pregnancy at an advanced age was not an issue. My mother had no problems, why should I? There's Halle Berry, Marcia Cross, Salma Hayek and the list goes on! How many of them actually admit to DE's or IVF? Not that many. In fact, I can't think of any star that has ever admitted to DE's. A public figure also needs to stress that these are very costly processes and the average couple might not be able to afford such procedures. Did Marcia Cross use DE's? We'll never know. It's none of our business. It's a very touchy issue. How would it affect her children if word got out? These are the questions I pose to myself about my own situation. I'd like to use DE's (aside from the expense), but what would I say to the child and what would I say to my family? If nothing is said, would I feel like I was living a lie? How receptive is the older generation to that kind of news? The current generation has trouble digesting it. So many people don't see IF as a problem. There is this misconception that you just have an IVF procedure and you have a child. Everyone neglects to mention how low the statistics are at this age. It's very depressing. I wish I could go back in time and change things. Doesn't everyone in this situation? Despite my indifference towards DE's, I've kept it in the back of my mind as a last resort. The only problem with that is, what if that doesn't work? I've read several blogs now where DE's have not been working. What is this world coming to? Haven't we IF's suffered enough?