Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Bethenny Frankel Is Pregnant?

So I was home sick yesterday and what comes across the TV, Bethenny Frankel from The Real Housewives of NYC is pregnant. I can't believe it. She's 39. I can't believe it. Did she even try?? How do these people get so lucky? I don't even think she's been dating the guy for a year yet. Not fair Not fair Not fair! Then I just read that Padma from Top Chef is also expecting her first at age 39! Come on! How does this affect me directly you ask? I was one of the many suckers that believed pregnancy at an advanced age was not an issue. My mother had no problems, why should I? There's Halle Berry, Marcia Cross, Salma Hayek and the list goes on! How many of them actually admit to DE's or IVF? Not that many. In fact, I can't think of any star that has ever admitted to DE's. A public figure also needs to stress that these are very costly processes and the average couple might not be able to afford such procedures. Did Marcia Cross use DE's? We'll never know. It's none of our business. It's a very touchy issue. How would it affect her children if word got out? These are the questions I pose to myself about my own situation. I'd like to use DE's (aside from the expense), but what would I say to the child and what would I say to my family? If nothing is said, would I feel like I was living a lie? How receptive is the older generation to that kind of news? The current generation has trouble digesting it. So many people don't see IF as a problem. There is this misconception that you just have an IVF procedure and you have a child. Everyone neglects to mention how low the statistics are at this age. It's very depressing. I wish I could go back in time and change things. Doesn't everyone in this situation? Despite my indifference towards DE's, I've kept it in the back of my mind as a last resort. The only problem with that is, what if that doesn't work? I've read several blogs now where DE's have not been working. What is this world coming to? Haven't we IF's suffered enough?


  1. Hey there! Thanks for stopping by and commenting. I will have to add you to my blog roll.

    Regarding DE, I honestly feel extremely positive about it IF IF IF the woman/couple goes to a clinic with great DE stats.

    I, unfortunately, had an awful fluke (the miscarriage this past summer) that I am convinced had everything to do with a severe illness and days of fever and vomiting. I felt barely alive myself and it was so early in the pregnancy - I believe it caused what happened.

    Regarding celebrities, as long as they don't claim to be pregnant with their own eggs (especially when they say it was a "surprise" pregnancy) at 44 with twins, I'm fine with them keeping the DE truth to their families. It is as private as couples who have to use donor sperm.

    As for how the children fare later on, it seems from everything learned from using donor sperm (which goes back decades), the children who were told from the beginning (in age appropriate ways) have done great because it was never "news" to them - just a reality they always lived with. I think a lot can be applied from the way adoption news is delivered. You can't spring that on a 9 year old and think they're going to be fine, they won't. They'll be hurt and shocked and feel so betrayed and distrustful. But if it's an awareness they always grew up with, it's just their reality - the only life/truth they know.

    Having said all of that, of course, it is more than natural to want to produce genetic offspring and if I could, I would. But these eggs of mine suck! :(

  2. Marcia Cross was actually open about using donor eggs, but she's the only one who I've seen admit it.